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The where and the why


It’s good to have dreams, to dream really big and put everything you have into it. But what happens when you fail to reach your dreams, when you get so close and it all falls apart at the last hurdle? 

A few years back I decided I wanted to be a doctor and have put everything I had into reaching my goal, and I was so close. So close I even had a place at med school, but then I failed to get the grades I need. The university I held an offer from have said that they are unable to accept me with a 2.2, despite my particular circumstance as well as telling me that if I take another year to improve my grades I will not be a competitive candidate. 
I therefore have to look at my situation realistically, I am limited to where I can apply as I cannot move, all the university’s in my area have similar academic requirement so it is likely they will view my application the same. If I take an extra year I will not have the 2.2 (hopefully), I will just have a degree with a different title, but it will have taken me 7 years. If I was to apply to med school again there would be no point applying for next year as I will have no predicted grade so I will have to wait for another year, and there is every chance that none in my area will deem me as competitive academically. 

So what do I do now with the dream that was so close to becoming reality, but is now in the realms of well, dreams. I know the fact of it is that I just have to get on with life, i’m an adult, I’ve got a family, I’ve got bills to pay. But that doesn’t make it any less hard, it doesn’t make it hurt any less and it doesn’t stop me from feeling so completely lost. Maybe if I record my progress it will help from just getting stuck and from not finding any direction, and hopefully it will help me focus on all the good in my life rather than dwelling to much on what I have (probably) lost. 

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